Monday, August 12, 2013

Let's Have A Chat

Here's an actual transcript of the conversation that I just had with Lucy during dinner…and a little bit of insight into the circuitous mind of a toddler:

LUCY (as she puts a small forkful of pasta in her mouth): Mommy, let’s have a chat.

ME: Okay, what do you want to chat about?

LUCY: Music. I dig purple music. What music do you dig?

ME: What exactly does “dig” mean?

LUCY: It means you go on a treasure hunt.

ME: Okay then. How does that relate to music?

LUCY (looking at me like I'm a moron): You have a purple shirt on, so you dig purple music. Hey, is there spit-up on your shirt too?

ME: Yes.

LUCY (putting down her fork): That’s gross.

ME: True. But, the grossness of my shirt is beside the point. What does purple music sound like?

LUCY (singing): Do do do do do do do dooooooo! That’s what purple music sounds like.

ME: Of course that’s what it sounds like. Purple music is definitely my favorite. What are your favorites?

LUCY: Horses and watermelon.

ME: Really? So we’re not talking about music anymore?

LUCY: No. I like to eat watermelon, and I like to play with horses.

ME: Have you ever played with a horse?

LUCY: Yes.

ME: When?

LUCY: When I was a baby.

ME: Really?

LUCY: Yes. (Sighs with exasperation) Babies play with baby horses all of the time, Mommy. When you see a heart, say heart!

ME (trying desperately to follow the conversation): So, do you see a heart?

LUCY: Yeah, on my cup. Ta-da! Here comes the magic! You turned into a frog!

ME: A frog? No more hearts?

LUCY: Ribbit, ribbit.

ME: But, Lucy, I don’t like frogs.

LUCY: Yes, you do! Frogs are good to eat! And I love blueberries so much. And I love chocolate chips so much.

ME: I don’t think we’ll be eating any chocolate chip, blueberry frogs any time soon. But, what about eating your pasta?

LUCY (pushing her plate away): No, I don’t love that. I’m a little full. I think I’m done.

ME: I don’t think so. Take another bite.

LUCY: (starts singing “The Wheels on the Bus”)

ME (singing along): The pasta on the fork goes in Lucy’s mouth.

LUCY: No, no, no, no, no! Stop it. I have to sing. Not YOU. And no more pasta on the bus. Okay?

ME: Okay.

LUCY: (resumes singing “The Wheels on the Bus”)

ME (singing along): The pasta on the fork goes in Lucy’s mouth.

LUCY (outraged): No, no, no, no, no! That’s not how it goes, Mommy! Stop singing pasta, pasta, pasta! Say sorry to Lucy! (Looking at her hands as she makes a diamond shape with her fingers) There’s a diamond I made. It got sides.

ME: I see it.

LUCY: Mommy, sing the twinkle, twinkle song so I can put my diamond in the sky!

ME: (like a trained monkey, starting to sing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”)

LUCY (singing along): Twinkle, twinkle little star, how do you have a horn?

ME: Hey, those aren’t the words!

LUCY: Yes, they are. They are LUCY WORDS! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

ME: Okay, enough singing, how about finishing dinner?

LUCY: No, I don’t like my dinner.

ME: Why not?

LUCY: Because I like my Bun-Bun. I miss my daddy. Is it dark outside?

ME: Is dinner over then?

LUCY: Yes, dinner is over.

ME: You’re not hungry?

LUCY: No, I’m VERY full.

ME: Okay, kiddo. Did we have a good chat?

LUCY: Yeah. Next time we can chat about cowboys. Let’s chat about ladybugs tomorrow too.

ME: That’s a plan, Stan.

LUCY: I’m not Stan, Mommy! I’m Lucy Catherine Butler! (Getting down from the table) Oops. I burped. I’m full of pool-water. And poop. And dinner too.

ME: In that order?

LUCY: Yes. Now, let’s play.


1 comment:

  1. That kid is going to keep you on your toes the rest of your life!