LUCY (sighing and pushing her dinner plate away): Mommy, I think I’m done.
ME (returning the plate to its place in front of her): Nope. You have to eat your vegetables. One bite. Look, your brother loves his green beans.
LUCY (eyeing Will and his baby food with great distaste): I don’t have any green beans, just carrots.
ME: I can get green beans for you, no problem.
LUCY (quickly): No, thanks.
ME: So eat your carrots.
LUCY: Because they are good for me?
ME: Yes. Vegetables keep you healthy and strong!
LUCY: Will they help me go poo?
ME: Yes. Vegetables help make the poos come out easier.
LUCY: I don’t like it when the poos hurt.
ME: No one does, kiddo.
LUCY: Does chocolate help the poos too?
ME: Not so much. Eat your carrots.
LUCY: Then why did you give me M&M's when I put my poo-poos in the potty?
ME: Well, that was a prize for a good job well done.
LUCY (in deep thought): Huh. Can I have an M&M if I eat my carrots?
ME: Will that make you eat them?
ME: Well, then no.
LUCY: Will carrots make me poot?
ME: No. Just take a bite.
LUCY (glancing at her brother): But Will poots all of the time!
ME: He’s a baby. They poot.
LUCY: My poots smell like cookies.
ME (stifling the laughter): Really? That's what you think?
ME: I have smelled your poots, miss, and they definitely are not cookie-scented.
LUCY (adamantly): Yes, they are....Chocolate chip.
ME: Do you think they smell that way because you love cookies so much?
LUCY (nodding her head, excited that I clearly am beginning to "get it"): YES.
ME: No...Just eat your carrots. Nice try, but you’re not getting a cookie.
LUCY (disappointed): Oh. But my carrots are cold now.
ME: One bite.
LUCY: Then I’m done?
ME (exhausted by this conversation): Yes, Lucy. Then you are done.
LUCY (finally taking the tiniest bite ever): Next time, can I just have chocolate instead?