Saturday, November 9, 2013

If Only Chocolate Was Healthier

It’s dinner time. Lucy is trying to talk her way out of eating her vegetables, as usual. Will is happily inhaling his in pureed form.

LUCY (sighing and pushing her dinner plate away): Mommy, I think I’m done.

ME (returning the plate to its place in front of her): Nope. You have to eat your vegetables. One bite. Look, your brother loves his green beans.

LUCY (eyeing Will and his baby food with great distaste): I don’t have any green beans, just carrots.

ME: I can get green beans for you, no problem.

LUCY (quickly): No, thanks.

ME: So eat your carrots.

LUCY: Because they are good for me?

ME: Yes. Vegetables keep you healthy and strong!

LUCY: Will they help me go poo?

ME: Yes. Vegetables help make the poos come out easier.

LUCY: I don’t like it when the poos hurt.

ME: No one does, kiddo.

LUCY: Does chocolate help the poos too?

ME: Not so much. Eat your carrots.

LUCY: Then why did you give me M&M's when I put my poo-poos in the potty?

ME: Well, that was a prize for a good job well done.

LUCY (in deep thought): Huh. Can I have an M&M if I eat my carrots?

ME: Will that make you eat them?


ME: Well, then no.

LUCY: Will carrots make me poot?

ME: No. Just take a bite.

LUCY (glancing at her brother): But Will poots all of the time!

ME: He’s a baby. They poot.

LUCY: My poots smell like cookies.

ME (stifling the laughter): Really? That's what you think?

LUCY: Yes.

ME: I have smelled your poots, miss, and they definitely are not cookie-scented.
LUCY (adamantly): Yes, they are....Chocolate chip.
ME: Do you think they smell that way because you love cookies so much?

LUCY (nodding her head, excited that I clearly am beginning to "get it"): YES.

ME: No...Just eat your carrots. Nice try, but you’re not getting a cookie.

LUCY (disappointed): Oh. But my carrots are cold now.

ME: One bite.

LUCY: Then I’m done?

ME (exhausted by this conversation): Yes, Lucy. Then you are done.

LUCY (finally taking the tiniest bite ever): Next time, can I just have chocolate instead?

1 comment:

  1. Oh My My! Lucy does put you through mental gymnastics at all times. We feel she will make a GREAT debater or lawyer:)