10. Showers are optional.
9. The crusts of PB&J sandwiches with leftover
applesauce are an acceptable lunch.
Going to Target sans kids feels like
a vacation, not a chore.
Catching puke in my bare hands isn’t
necessarily enough to gross me out.
I can sing the Bubble Guppies’ entire
repertoire. Don't even get me started on "Frozen."
When I sneeze, I pee. Every damn
Wearing anything other than jeans or
sweatpants is dressing up.
I answer to "Mommy" faster than I do to my ACTUAL NAME.
If your ass is dirty or your nose is
runny, I will wipe it without flinching. And, I won't ask first.
FUPA and stretch marks. Enough said.