My best friend believes that I’m bitter because I couldn’t fully experience one of my favorite “holidays” with two little ones in tow. She could be right. Maybe it is their fault. Or maybe it’s because today is a Monday, and, really, we all know that nothing all that good ever happens on a Monday. All I know for sure is that today held no tacos or margaritas (or anything fun for that matter) for me.
Here’s what it did hold:
I woke up late, skipping my shower and rushing to get Lucy ready for preschool. Of course, since she knew I was hurrying to get us out the door, she moved as fast as molasses. (Typical threenager.) I finally got her dressed, slapped a clean onesie on Will, and threw them both in the car, along with the diaper bag, Lucy’s school bag, her entourage of toys, and her water cup. As late as we were running, I didn’t double-check the contents of the bags. (Hint: This little oversight comes into play in a big way very soon.)
I stopped by the grocery store after finally dropping her off at preschool (late, of course). Will, who is usually pretty amenable, was not in the mood to shop. Instead, he wouldn’t sit still and was super fussy. And, that’s when I realized I’d forgotten his pacifier and his favorite toy. A quick peek into the diaper bag confirmed no back-ups were present. So, like a total mad woman, I ran down the aisles of the store, chucking food into the basket while I pleaded with him to behave.
When I got to the register, all sweaty and flustered, the kind cashier clearly took pity on me, chatting nicely and not seeming to be overly bothered by my screaming child. Which is precisely when I discovered that the pacifier wasn’t the only thing I forgot to pack – I didn’t have my wallet. I did, however, have $120 of bagged groceries staring at me from the cart.
So, Will and I left the store – him still pitching a fit and me completely humiliated. I drove home, grabbed my wallet (which I found hiding in a purse), and went right back to the scene of my embarrassment to collect and pay for the groceries. Will took a nap on the ride of shame, which restored his good spirits. As for me, I was pining for today’s promised margarita – and it was only 10:30 a.m.
The day had to get better from there? Right? Well, it didn’t.
· Late to preschool pickup…again
· Lucy wouldn’t stop whining
· Lost our dog upon returning home
· Will refused to nap
· Kids dropped lunch food all over the clean kitchen floor (and all over the dog, who thankfully was found)
· Got two weird holes in my new shirt
· Found suspicious shit-like blob on the good rug
· Husband, who was supposed to be home early, was an hour late
· NO ONE WANTED TACOS FOR DINNER
· Kids did, however, share their dinners with the floor and dog...again
· Had no limes, tequila, or triple sec in the house – and I wasn’t going back to the store
· Never got that shower
And that is why Cinco de Mayo sucked avocado pits this year. Bitter, indeed.